Listening to Ma Body..

As hard as it was, I skipped crossfit this morning. I never thought it would be a hard decision to "skip" a workout, but I really love going!! Alas, I knew if I went there today, I'd push too hard and hurt muscles that were already hurting pretty badly. So, as one of the coaches said, I decided to "police myself".

I went to my regular gym and did SOME of the workout. I did the 3x10 50%front squat. I used 95. I felt like quite a dumbass. I never used the lifting area in the gym before and had to ask where the clips were. I did like the fact that there were mirrors and I could at least check my own form, since the grunter to my right certainly wasn't going to do it for me..

Then I did some sit ups and walked and jogged on the treadmill and that was about it. My arms and shoulder are seriously still burning from Friday and Saturday's workout and what was listed today would surely have aggravated that further. So I'm being smart. I'm doing so well and now is NOT the time to get sidelined with an injury!!

The whole no sugar thing has been going surprisingly well. I've stayed well under 25g for the past 2 days. No withdrawal symptoms, tiredness or crankiness. I guess because I hadn't really been in taking that much sugar to begin with the past four months. Ah the wonders of self control.

I'm getting ready to do a four month motivational write up that I'm sure you'll all enjoy very much! Be on the lookout!

My eating habits have stayed in the fantastic range, I must admit. And the scale dipped again today. But as it will, I don't get too excited until I see the same number a few times. I fluctuate up and down the same pounds for a few days then drop, but its always nice to see a new number for the first time in many years;) I really wish I weren't such a victim to the scale, because I shouldn't be gauging my success solely on that stupid thing.

Had a good crossfit workout yesterday. Technically speaking, I RX'ed it. I used the prescribed weights and did everything that the workout called for. But... If I'm being completely honest with myself, if I were to do it again, I wouldn't use 65 pounds for overhead squats again yet. It was too heavy for me. I wasn't able to squat deep enough to make it worth it. But... I learned that. I should've stopped and taken some weight off. 50 probably would've been appropriate, but I was trying to be tough girl and wanted to prove something to myself. Well, I did. I proved I won't be doing overhead squats at 65 any time soon again. There's no point yet. I'm not ready. On a positive note, I AM ready to do ten minutes worth of rounds of box jumps. I did just fine with those by pacing myself. Score. I also practiced double unders again. I need to focus on ME and not worry about how good everyone else it, although it is tempting;)

Today I just walked my dog clients. Took it easy. I need to incorporate some rest days. The focus of the next two weeks, strict sugar intake. I'm going to try to follow the guideline of 25g or less a day by upping my protein intake and see where that takes me;)

Made corned beef and cabbage tonight. It's still cooking. Yet another roadblock. It's nearly ten o'clock and I haven't had dinner. Although I did have a snack around 6:30.

We are all a work in progress!

Yesterday Andy and I went to Raleigh's Memorial run to honor those injured and lost at last weeks Boston Marathon. A great community event. Very sad for those affected.

Took flat Stanley along for the run. Had it been an actual race, it would've been a PR for me! 11:08 pace for 3 miles;) And it felt good!

In September, my first 5k, my pace was 12:10. A whole minute faster a mile in a few months? I'll take it! The course wasn't quite as hilly, but I also wasn't quite as tired, and it also wasn't and official race. I'll tell you what though. Running with a huge herd of people makes it a LOT less tiring.

Had another PR this am at Cross fit. 205 pounds for high bar back squat. I didn't think I would make it over 200 pounds so soon! But here we are! I do have some strong legs;) I hope I can keep it up! Also, the rare occasion I like seeing my weigh over 200 pounds...

Then we worked on clean and jerk. I'm such an idiot sometimes. I had the bar all f'ed up for the first four sets I did and didn't even notice... Whoops! Heavier on one side than on the other..not good for the back..Johnny helped me get myself straightened out and I ended up using 95 for the remaining sets instead of whatever in the world I was using before that.

Then we did some 300y shuttle run thing. I'm not so good at that. But that's ok. I'll get better. I also did some double unders this morning!! In a row! The pattern that works best for me is du regular du regular. Hopefully, I can start to omit that regular and start getting some rx workouts soon!!I just want SOME. I feel like I'm getting PLENTY out of what I'm already doing, but it sure would feel good to do an rx workout at some point. And I'm confident that I will.

Had a good workout this am. We did 96 percent of our max deadlift. Once again, I've mentioned, I don't have a max, yet.. But this is pretty close.

Two weeks ago, we did a deadlift wod. I did a few sets of 185, and it felt pretty heavy. Today we did 2 sets of 3. Steve said it shouldn't be touch and go, should rest a few seconds in between tough. So I kept adding. I felt the tough coming on at 245!! 60 more pounds than I allowed myself to do a few weeks ago. Now, don't think I've magically gotten that strong. It's not that. I think I'm just being careful. I don't want to hurt myself. I think I maybe could've done a little more, but 245 was pretty tough, and knowing what was coming up, I stuck with it.

The wod was 21-15-9 deadlift and handstand push ups. I do mine on a box. They are pretty weak. I know that. But I'll get better eventually. I was happy that I was able to use the prescribed weight of 155 for the workout. I usually am not able to do so.

So I felt pretty good. Then I continued my day.. But here's what happens. I eat breakfast. (probably not enough) I go to cf. I come home for 30-45 and I'm not really hungry and I'll eat a little something.. Today I had a protein shake. Then I'll go from say 10:30-4 with nothing and I'm starving and dead tired. Mind you I'm also walking dogs during this time. I need to start taking stuff with me, but usually I have some kind of a lunch at home, and I don't want to "spoil" it. First world problems.

Then I eat lunch late, And a big dinner. My calories are right, just at the wrong time.

I just need a better plan.

Finally got the iPad I've wanted forever. Got it ready to go.. And the power goes out;( sad panda over here. There will be plenty of time to play later, I suppose.

Tomorrow, the plan is to go to crossfit in the am, meet Andy's dad for lunch, and maybe a run in the afternoon. Then Sunday, a run to honor those killed and injured in Boston.

Next week is filled with dogs. 24 visits as of right now next week, and that could go up. This is turning into a full time job!! One I can't really complain about!

There are some good things going on...

I have 15 regular dog walks a week! Every day, when I'm outside walking dogs, I think about how lucky I am to be doing just that!! Walking dogs!! It's really delightful. Some dogs are better walkers than others, but I walk about 10-12 miles a week with the regula clients. Paid exercise and sunshine. Bad thing, I decided to "work on my farmer's tan" today, and wore a strapless shirt for the dog walks. I usually stuff my keys into my bra, but since I wasn't wearing one, I got confused and locked them in the car. A bad thing. Luckily, roadside assistance was there within 30 minutes, so I wasn't late for any appointments. A good thing.
I guess that's what happens to hoochie dog walkers that don't wear bras?

On the downside, between that and crossfit, it's wearing me out from being in the sun. I don't feel like running as much at night and I found myself skipping the Monday night nog run and Tuesday Big Boss run. That's a bad thing. Perhaps once I get used to the warmer weather it wont seem so tough?

A good thing.. The overall results from the competition this weekend were posted!! I placed 168/452!! Pretty close to the top 1/3!! That makes me happy. I can honestly feel myself getting stronger.

I'm still eating well. Not allowing bad things to slip into my diet (with the exception of the second drinking night of the year this past weekend). But my weight loss painfully slow now. That's a bad thing. I started doing my fitness pal and am trying yet again to get a bit more technical with things. I really feel some days I am not eating enough. Bad thing. I think I may be gaining muscle? Good thing? I don't know. I'm just trying to be patient and continue forward and not backward, a good thing!

I did buy some protien shake mix today, to force down after my morning crossfit. That's the hardest time for me to eat something because I'm just not hungry. I was able to do that today. I'm going to try maintaining my recommended calorie intake to "lose" of 1230, PLUS exercise, so I actually get a good bit more than that. I'm going to try it for a few weeks and see where that puts me. I just want to keep doing well!!!

Had a good wod the past two days. Yesterday was 20 mins asrap of push press, kb swings and box jumps. I used 55lb, 35 lbs and did step ups and got 10 rounds plus 25. Decent. I like workouts like that where everyone is working the same amount of time, no matter what you are doing for weight or modification.

Today, we did 10 mins every min on the min 2 hang cleans and one power clean. I used 75lbs. 75 was moderately easy for me. But my arms are slightly sore from yesterday. I see no need to tear up my muscles or injure myself, like Andy, a BAD thing. He's so miserable, and I can not wait for him to feel better. His misery is making me miserable. Then we did 3 rounds of deadlifts (105) pull ups (I did ring pull ups) and run 400m. I finished in 10:21?? Somewhere around there. I'm the worst at ADDING up the weights. One very nice lady, Barb, was helping me with some band pull ups after the workout and some other ladies helped out by putting away my bar and informed my that my deadlift was actually 115... Jeez. I should just have someone else set my weight and do it. Then I'd have no idea. I swear sometimes I'm so absent minded...ten pounds isn't a HUGE difference, especially in a dead lift, but it made me feel good to know I did more than I thought I did with zero problem.

I really am thankful that I decided to try crossfit. It's something I really enjoy. It makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something more than just running alone, or when I would go to the gym and just do stuff. There are certain lifts and workouts I dread, but most of the time, if they are on m,w,f I'll go. A good thing. There are some lifts I really like. There are some lifts and exercises I really don't like, and that's probably because I'm not very good at them;) a bad thing.

That's about it. Time for bed!

Words can't describe how good it feels to do something you are afraid of. Something you want to do, but are dreading. Something that feels so good when it's done.

That's how I felt about today's "competition". What I learned by competing today, the thing I need to work on most isn't my form or my stamina. It's my ability to compete.

Instead, I found that the majority of the time today, rather than enjoying myself, I was more focused on "how I would rank compared to others". I think I have always been this way. Not just in competitions. Just in general.

My friend Corey said it best on one of my posts, "You are only competing against the person you were yesterday." Deep down, I already knew that. But that's not always what I'm thinking. I told myself on Tuesday when I tried the one WOD, if you beat your time, you win.. And I did. I did 21-21-21-15-15-10 when I tried the workout on Tuesday. Today I did 21-21-21-15-15-15-8. I pr'ed my clean and jerk. 130, twice! And for the other workout? Death by 10m? That was a blind one. I had never done it before.

Before I can be truly good at something, I need to be good to myself and not focus on failure. I need to stop analyzing every single detail, every single time.

Some of the girls today had been doing crossfit for longer than 6 months. I know because they told me. Instead of using that as a springboard to drive me, I dwelled on it. I have been doing it since January 14th. But, also..I'm 38 years old... Not only did they outdo me in experience, but they were also in their early 20's. You simply can't compare apples and oranges.

I met a wonderful girl today named Kara. She had an attitude that I am envious of. She was cheerful the entire time. Didn't have a worried look on her face and just did the workouts. She wasn't there "for a place", and I feel like she got so much more out of today than I did. She enjoyed herself. She cheered for other people. Thankfully, a bit of Kara rubbed off on me.

I DO NOT have to win. I DO NOT. But I do need to learn how to not beat myself up over not being able to be the best at everything, especially not right away. And I do it all of the time.

Before I focus on form, I need to reevaluate my attitude. I need to start feeling good about my accomplishments and stop focusing on my mirage of failures.

Although things are going well, I feel kind of blah.

I don't have as much of an appetite which is blah. I had two eggs, and one pretty big sausage(shut up) for breakfast. A banana and a Lara bar between dog walks and workout number one. A half of a custom fit meal for lunch. An orange before workout number two. A half of a custom fit meal for dinner and some celery stuffed with some cream cheese and dill. I guess maybe that's around 1500-1600 calories? But is that enough with two dog walks? A pretty rough workout and a three mile run? I don't know. But I know, I'm not hungry. I'm just not. So I'm not going to eat anything else right now.

Workout number one was the wod from the Festivus games this weekend. 21-15-9 row for calories, thrusters and burpees. I suppose I didn't do TOO horribly. I, of course, didn't finish them all in 10 minutes. I did it at my regular gym. So between rowing and walking to the aerobic room I lost a little time. I know I did the thrusters correctly because there was a mirror. There were some sad burpees goin on!! But I now have something to beat for Saturday, and I'll be sure to let you know how that goes!!

I also did the big boss run tonight with friends. It felt good. Not a speedy run, but a feel good run. Especially after Monday's killer squat workout.

We still have the dogs. I'm walking about 10 miles a week of dogs.

I'm still playing ruzzle.

I'm sleepy. I'm getting a funky tan from this beautiful weather and all of this outside time. Need sunscreen.

Goodnight!

Almost had a nervous cakedown last night. Wanted cake so badly. But... Today makes three months with very little bad sugar. No fast food. No soda. No alcohol or beer. (minus on day on the alcohol). I had ten banana chips with a melted chocolate chip on top instead. I will say it was satisfying. I dried my tears, quite literally.. And moved on.

Followed it all up with some happiness today. Went to the gym. Did just a little bit on the treadmill and some rowing.

Went to old navy. I got some tanks. Guess what! They are MEDIUMS! I am a happy medium! Don't get too excited. Only in this particular style. But.. I don't own much medium anything! Medium, medium, medium!!! It's time to get rid of the tons of xxl I have swarming about the closet.

Also hopped on the scale for the 9,504,673 time this year. It finally told me some good news. 14 pounds away from wedding weight!!

Who thinks I'll get there by June 12th??? I DO!!! We don't have anything special planned... The past several years, I'd sit around in my coat of flab and say...

Maybe next year.. It's finally next year!! And I'm not turning back!

The dogs are still both here. The man from Ft. Bragg had just finished a 24 hour shift and decided driving to Raleigh wasn't the best idea.. I couldn't agree more. So, Saturday is the day Mia will have a new home. And that new home soon will be in Texas.

Monday night, I went to the NoG run with friends, and tonight did the Big Boss run with mostly the same friends. I really love those nights. It IS my socialization. It's not quite the same not drinking a beer afterwards. Priorities!! On the 92nd day of the year, I can say I've one had drinks on one of those days;) Very proud of myself!!

Went to crossfit on Monday. I knew I was in for a treat when the workout read 100 burpees, run 800m, 100 burpees for time.

I was mentally prepared to do it. I estimated it would take me between 40-50 minutes. 100 burpees. Ok, maybe. But there after, my legs just start to give out and I'm crawling up off of the floor!! Thankfully, as I had suspected, it was an April Fools. The real workout was 5 mins on 5 mins off 5 mins on of 5 burpees 5 situps 5 box jumps. I'm not sure that was the exact workout, but that's what I did. I was the only one there at my class. This happens sometimes. 9:15 is an odd time. Sometimes there are a few people and sometimes not. It's my favorite time, other than noon, but I can't usually make it at noon... Anyways... I did 8 rounds plus the burpees. Those stinking burpees get me every time!!

Speaking of not being able to make it at noon.. I would've used to be able to, but I now have ....17 consistent dog walks a week!! This is great news!!! Add my few hours of tutoring to that and we've got a job!!! Also, I did some brainstorming tonight.. And I think I've devised a plan for the future... Will I make a ton of money doing it? No. Will I remain sane and happy? YES!!!

This week, Andy and I ordered some meals from our gym. Just to try em out. Basically, very healthy.. Rather pricey lean cuisines.. To put it in understandable terms. They are ok... I honestly didn't think they'd be enough food. We ordered large because well.. Andy needs a large, and I figured with me doing the crossfit 3-4 times a week plus 3-4 days of running plus the dog walks, I earned me a large as well. I didn't finish mine tonight. So, I guess I could've gone for a regular. We are going to try them for a few weeks until we are sick of them, or sporadically when we are busy. I'm also excited that our produce box will be coming in the next few weeks!!!

I can't wait for the tax fairy to come. I want some stuff. I don't really need anything, but I'm not going to lie. I want some stuff. Is that so wrong???